People of Newgrounds! Heed my message as a word of warning and DO NOT buy a Snuggie! Take my lesson unto thine brains and learn from my mistakes, so as to prevent the past from repeating itsself once again!

Yep.

Anyway, about three months ago, I decided I wanted to order a Snuggie for myself from that evil website. The choices of color were blue, and some shade of red that I don't remember the name of... After ordering a blue one, the site asked my "Would you like to suck our big, marketable cocks one more time by ordering," wait for it, "ANOTHER SNUGGIE!"

Of course, I am one who is easilly swayed by messages written in large fonts, so I thought, "Duhr, okay!" and decided to purchase one more, for a friend of mine for his birthday. This time it was red.

Now you may be thinking, "But 'Handsome Sounding Voice in my Head,' you aren't making Snuggies sound so evil." Shut the fuck up, I'm not finished with my story. Do I interupt you with every thought that pops into my many brains? No, okay, so sit back down and quietly wait for me to finish.

So, here is where my story takes a step towards frustrating... Two weeks later, the day finally comes when I get my four Snuggies in the mail. Yes, four. If you were paying attention you would remember that I specifically asked for TWO snuggies. Apparently, when you order two from the website, they neglect to tell you that they don't mean two Snuggies, as they mean two SETS of two Snuggies. Yes, four Snuggies for the price of four, without even telling me about two of them. Having to pay more than fourty dollars (Which is like, twenty british pounds or something?) for a few large pieces of felt seems a bit much.

At first I think, "Well, this isn't so bad." I have family members and friends I can give these to, as I'm not a lonely asshole," so I did. You should see the looks on people's faces when they open the beautifully wrapped box they receive on their birthdays, only to find out that its contents are something that they will never use, EVER!

You may think my clever tale is over, but alas kind sir, it is not. Just a day or two ago, a whole three months after ordering my first four Snuggies, the shameless bastards had the BALLS to send me two more in the mail; without even telling me! Wasn't that nice of them, sending me a free gift for being a good enough customer? I mean, I ordered four useless blobs of fabric from them for a decent bit of money, and I would expect to be compensated with a free gift, right? WRONG! A large tag on the box informed me that not only were the new Snuggies not free, but they were more expensive than the first sets of two I was fooled into buying. Yes, they costed about five dollars more than before! They charged it directly to my account, and they were so nice about it, that they didn't even bother me with an email or phone call!

Well, kind traveller, I'm afraid my story ends here. I was tricked into buying five more of something than I actually wanted. It turns out, I'm suppost to wear it backwards, which makes my back cold, so that's kind of annoying. And guess what! To add insult to injury, the last two Snuggies I received didn't even come with a free book-light, a product which probably costed more to manufacture than the Snuggie itsself!

So what have we all learned from this story? If something looks too stupid to be true, don't fucking buy it.